Personal Announcements...

as translated by Babelfish.

Nearly every cubicle farm resident who has access to the internet (and a greyish supervisor who doesn't care what you do as long as he doesn't have to deal with it.), has played the Babelfish game of translating innocuous phrases back and forth from English to some other language and back again. For instance, let us take the lyrics to the Pussycat Dolls immortal song "Buttons*":

English:

I'm tellin' you to loosen up my buttons babe (Uh huh)
But you keep frontin' (Uh)
Sayin' what you gon' do to me (Uh huh)
But I aint see nothin' (Uh)

(Indeed, one for the ages)

Japanese back into English:

As for me what which is made I who have gone in order for my button to become loose lovely on the person, uh-huh you continue to face the proverb of Uh, Uh,
but, what I aint as for, Uh-huh means that you do not see

or

German back into English:

I explain to you that around itself my groping baby to solve up, for
Uh huh however you hold to confront, Uh Saying which you going me to
do, Uh huh, but I aint nothing, Uh-huh to see

The gobbeldygook that comes back is the result of word for word translation. Babelfish (or any other online translation program) doesn't take meaning or idioms into account, it just looks at the individual words and makes its best guess. It's especially great if there is no correlating word between the two languages...like, as you can see, "ain't".

After, playing this game for a while, an overall cultural tone emerges or, at least, what the tone is to Babelfish. When I type stuff to be translated into Japanese, what comes back almost always has words like "splendid", "glorious", or "proverb". In German, I get "explain" or "solve". (Though, "groping" gave me pause...as if to insinuate that this stereotypically regimented and precise people are latent sex fiends.)

Russian comes across as almost Chekovian:

I speak you so that it would let go upward in my opinion babe buttons,
huh Uh but you hold it resisted, statement you going you delay to
me, huh Uh Uh but aint I not

Suddenly, everything is filled with cold longing for the spirit to break free its Earthly bonds of work and loneliness: "I speak you that it would let go upward".

(I, of course, wonder if this isn't my own twee ignorance of other cultures showing itself...like Russia is populated with poor little Uncle Vanyas who just can't seem to get their shit together.)

So, to keep everyone abreast of the artistic goings on in my life, I thought I'd make the announcement more interesting by taking the exuberant mass email, sending it over to Siberia for a little gloom, and posting it here (For the original English, check the comments):

Hi each!

It is distressed for email mass, but me ask 4 to delay it is
followed, and this wakes the lightest road it obtained word from.

it is the project of neytrina
(the instant kinoiy)

Reveals tonight! on ComedySportz
Nights of the environment of runs on 8pm 17 - GO September - 19 - GO
tickets during November $10

ALSO

KERPATTY!
it closes this spending the night Friday!

This Friday on 10pm
Ha Playground
(they sold from the last weekend; therefore you will receive there predydushche.)

Interruption Chicago Is spoken:

"you will recall that advertisement ' 90s where little-one it runs downward from the enumeration beverages in his refrigerator: We do obtain the certain oj, purple substance, sunny enjoyment "? Recalls Kerpatty confident spot, also, as countless other souvenirs from our collective it flapped -.kul6tury after; its transmission Grafitti it is investigated those treasures in the silliest. Shake ' boogie robots em of nose em ', then fight; The songs of girl of spice obtain a cappella the processing, man desperately searches for a certain "purple substance." Thus far gen-X- X and - Yers is obtained giddy with nostalgia, rest can it enraptured on comedy Dwyer's pat unflappable of physical. By its impression of squirrel there wake real operation, minus rabies."


Hope you can it made it!


* I want to make clear that "Buttons" appears nowhere on my iPod.