Sunday, September 7, 2008

Three Shorts on a Sunday

(The following thoughts may or may not be revisited later...I just thought I'd get 'em out there.)

1. I have a program on my computer called Stumble Upon. (If you are not familiar with this program, I will not offer you a link on how to get it. I won't be responsible for the absolute decimation of your work productivity. If you want this massive time-suck on your computer, go find it yourself. Those of you who are sleeplessly familiar, know what I'm talking about.)

This program gathers topics of interest to you and then, with the click of a button, takes you to websites with content you might like.

Three times today I have stumbled upon Wikipedia's Article on Personality Disorder.

It has been a long time since I believed the universe is trying to tell me something, so I really wish it would shut up.

2. Bath and Body Works = House of Olfactory Rape.

3. I am going through a massive change at the moment. It isn't lovely, or filled with cinematic epiphanies.

It's ugly and painful (to myself and to others) and brimming with every terrible decision I could have ever made. All in front of everyone...or at least it feels that way. As if I'm showing up to every party naked and covered in snot.

I can sense myself desperately trying to "carry it off" somehow, falling back on old habits, pretending to be unflappable. This is all false. I don't think anyone is unflappable in the face of so many bedrock shaking mutations. Part of what precipitated this change was just that, my willful make believe that nothing could touch me.

But it has. And will continue to do so. I hope. Snot or no.

I am a little more lucid now than in recent days, so I can sit on my three feet tall ivory tower and see beyond all the sturm. I'm positive, however, that this will not last long and I will fall from my perch to splatter like a stewed tomato on a hot sidewalk.

Oh, well. At least I can get a decent view while I'm here.

2 comments:

Henri D said...

It's cliche, but your choices make you who you are. I happen to think your a pretty bitchin' person. And I'm rarely wrong, because my choices made me that way! (hee hee cyclical logic)

-j-j- said...

Thank you Henri. You are pretty bitchin' too.

 
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