Monday, February 16, 2009

What has two thumbs & is trying to trade a cheap stuffed bear for a Beej?

This guy:

1. Why is that guy dressed like Kenickie?
2. I don't think he even has a girlfriend.
3. Fella, the voice in the black box isn't actually talking to YOU. Calm down.
4. Bear at office = Squealing whirlwind of single entendres.
5. Uh-oh. Is Kenickie looking at porn?, he's ordering a bear.
6. That is the worst tattoo ever.
7. Why do grown men need a bear counselor?
8. Wow, that bear counselor is wearing a lot of lip gloss.
9. That's right, buddy, do your "Goal" dance. Tonight it's a 72 second ride to Orgasmo town.
10. "I can't wait to show him MY surprise." Does anyone else think the guy might be in eminent danger?
11. Hunny. U is a nerse. I gived u bear nerse. can we do the thing now?


rebar said...

While I hate the neverending notion that women require a level of bartering for BJs...I really it THAT hard to think of a gift?

One of the best gifts I ever got for V-day was a $12 poster (unframed) of James Dean...because, at the time, I was really into James Dean. Boyfriend paid attention. WIN!

Another great gift that I still have and adore was a paperback copy of "Love in a Time of Cholera" with a little inscription on the inside flap. Me like books. Boyfriend like books. Boyfriend got me a book I hadn't read that he thought I would really like. WIN!

I'm so sick of the idea that women are suckers (literally) for a bear that looks like blind children in Malaysia made them.

And that men are completely without thought or effort.


pinses |’pin•sees|
n. the very tiny, thermometer thin genitals of men who purchase Vermont Teddy Bears in hopes of a BJ

Joe Janes said...

I'm very concerned about the box's "air" hole.

Anonymous said...

"While I hate the neverending notion that women require a level of bartering for BJs..."

Is this the right time to break out the old "every stereotype is grown from a seed of truth" chestnut?

I think it is.

Erica said...

Everything about this commercial is terrible, but I love that the guy connects with the bear on a deeper level because they have the same tattoo.

-j-j- said...

>>Is this the right time to break out the old "every stereotype is grown from a seed of truth" chestnut?<<

Buyin' a lotta bears, there, are ya?

Anonymous said...

No, but I've dated a fair number of women who either consider the BJ completely out of the question or something to keep aside for "special occasions" and treat it as if it is something that requires gifts, talismans, a coat and tie, or a Hallmark holiday.


And I'm not posting anonymously to be a troll or an asshole. My apologies if it comes off that way, but I feel I should protect my identity on this topic.

-j-j- said...

Fair enough. Unfortunately, the kernel of truth resides on both sides.

Guys = Thoughtless Blow Job Hungry Neanderthals

Girls = Withholding Entitled Princesses who are happy to trade a Bj for "payment"

Unfortunately commercials like these exploit both sides. That's where the Rage comes from.

And, no, you're not coming off as a troll.

Anonymous said...

I agree with you there.

And thanks.

Anonymous said...

somewhat apropos of this, I thin kyou may find this interesting:

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