Friday, February 6, 2009

Shame on the House of Python

Fuck you, guys.

I suppose the burn is on me for being surprised at all. Eventually, EVERYTHING will be recuperated by the advertising industry. Seriously, what took these guys so LONG?

Huh, fellas? What took you so fucking long to warm up to the idea the GATORADE was worth selling out the legions of fans who can quote you chapter and verse and who have held on to your sketches as the nonpareil of counterculture comedy?

What lured you in? It must have been the razor sharp writing - right?- the self aware satire and loony non sequiturs that you yourselves have made famous. Yeah?

No. No, it wasn't because the scripts for these desperate grabs at relevance read like boardroom consensus-driven pop culture barf. Maybe, I'd be somwehat forgiving if these ads were even funny. MAY. BE.

I can only console myself that perhaps the lot of your were mainlined roofies and stuffed into the trunk of an 1988 Oldsmobile Cutless Supreme, only to awaken in a warehouse days later, dehydrated, bewildered and devastated to find you had given over power of attorney to Michael Jackson.

Who among your ranks betrayed you thus?

Et Tu, Eric Idle?

The whole of you need to be strapped down, eyes propped open a la Clockwork Orange and made to watch Brazil on repeat until your wit grows back.

Or until the Rape scene from a Clockwork Orange with Alex DeLarge's rendition of Singing in the Rain is used to sell Coors Light.


Erica said...

As shitty as this selling out is, I have to say that I love the Jabbawockeez. Hoo boy, those guys can dance. Shame they didn't really showcase that in this crummy commercial, though.

Jan Smelk said...

the dancing was so kick ass!!! i mean i hated the whole thing!!! do you think they got permission? maybe it was "in the style of.." like kareoke and the Pythons never knew what hit 'em.

Crazypants said...

not really about this commercial.
in fact, i don't really give a shit. but, it is really ill conceived. neither the break dancing or the python was realized in any satisfactory way.

nope, i am pissed about the douchenbagglery of referring to gatorade as G. those extra two syllables too much for ya, hot pants?

although the lead dude is freakin' hot.

mostly though, it feels good to aim my free floating anger at something specific.


oh, and the word verification below is "mersaf". which is, of course, myself in mermaid form.

rebar said...

>nope, i am pissed about the douchenbagglery of referring to gatorade as G.

I feel EXACTLY the same way. Everytime I even hear those ads on TV, my blood begins a slow boil.

When will ad folks realise that in thei attempts to "manufacture cool" the exact opposite is accomplished?

They manufacture asshattery.

And while I think the Jabbawockeez kids can dance...and that it takes a lot of athleticism to dance, I'm not sitting them next to Ali.

No. They need to move their shit to the kiddie table. At least until they have a couple more years under their belt.

Baryshnikov? The Nicholas Brothers? Savion Glover? I might consider putting on the left hand of Ali.

ingrab |'in•grab|
n. an non-verbal inside joke between two or more people that involves the touching of one or more body parts.

John and Milton's ingrab made the other party guests feel simultaneously uncomfortable and ostracized.

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