Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Passive Aggressive Status Updates

In the Facebook/Twitter universe, passive aggression seems not only encouraged, but a requirement. Even in the moments of positive updates, it would appear that the more oblique you imply your current "Status" to be the more your page will popcorn with Likes and Comments.

But only the One for whom the status update was intended will know what the hell it's about.

"Brian Stemple is drowning."

"Lisa Martin could have done without that."

"Mike Fern is listening to The Cure again. and again."

"Zach Jones thinks you look hot in that shirt. Why are you wearing it to work and not around our apartment? Is it because of that guy in the cubicle across from you that you keep talking about?"

"Nora Turk hurts today."

"Carol Larabbee is too hot to handle, to cold to hold."

"Sara Jordan is watching TV by herself tonight!"

"Kara Burke could stand to be pleasantly surprised, you know."

"Steve Gordon is watching."

"Jim Leavett is a Smooth Criminal. RIP KOP. (Just got back from Camping.)"


S. E. Johnson said...

Hello, dissertation topic! And mad props for the Bobby Brown shout-out, which has become my "The Waste Land," if you can dig the reference.

joe g said...

Joe G likes this.

Jan Smelk said...

i swear i only get comments if I state that I like something stupid. Jan likes Kenny Loggins got 10 comments in 5 minutes.

rebar said...

Jan is on FB and like Kenny Loggins?!!

I'm friending her immediately.

sczate |skzz•ate|
n. an excuse an extremely drunk person will make when they are late and still schnockered.

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