Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Song for a Crappy Tuesday

"Oh, wow! This will be the perfect song for my blog post tomorrow, you guys!"

Both of your best friends, Jake and Cyprus lie on the couch in a Heartland Rock cum Calvin Klein ad cuddle lump. The wafting summer breeze frisking through the open deck windows smells like ocean air and charcoal. Jake's arm extends at an unnatural angle and hands you a CD.

"Take it." He smiles, "In fact, take as many CDs as you want." The walls of his house are lined with every possible album. The mass effect is dizzying.

Your heart is overwhelmed by a sense of well-being. As you take the CD, you look down at Jake's outstretched arm and notice that all of his intricate tattoos are blurry.


Then, just like the end of Somewhere in Time with that effing penny, you wake up.

You're eyes bat open as you try to remember the awesome song that probably doesn't even exist to begin with.

Poof. Gone. Dag.

If I haven't mentioned it before, my three-year-old nephew, J., loves Booty Shaking Club Jams. When I'm driving him around in my sister's car, I tend to flip radio stations looking for bearable music. Without fail, when I hit B96 or KissFM he hollers, "I LIKE that one!"

And really, it doesn't matter which rump shaker it is. He seems charmed by Empire State and just about anything that uses Rhianna (which, let's face it, is pretty much everything). He is tickled by Lady Gaga and Jay Sean. I have to be careful, though, because, as we have seen, Hotel Room Service or LMFAO might have a catchy hook, but I'd feel compelled to turn myself into Child Services if I ever let him listen to it (Not to mention hosing my own self off).

The other day, on our way to Costco, Kiss FM was casting its bass driven spell when Don't Stop the Rock by Freestyle came on. I have never heard this group before, even though it's an older band (the song was released sometime in the 80's. The web has varying dates.). Jack was transfixed, so much so that we had to wait in the parking lot for the song it to wind down.

It's a fun single. Along the same lines as Freakazoid, this is a serious rhapsody de Casio.

I wonder if that talking sex robot has the same voice.

1 comment:

rebar said...

How I wish to sing this via karaoke.

Also? Those kids at the end are very disturbing.

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