Friday, December 18, 2009

The Aliens are Back

Many moons ago, I posted a segment about the extraterrestrial world of the Disaronno Advertisement. These spots showed us a reality that had been downloaded into the invading species, pieced together from James Spader movies and Parker Brothers board game commercials. This is what the aliens think we look like when we party.

Several months after this post, I discovered a whole new series of commercials:



I don't think we are the intended audience for these commercials. What we have here is a training video for Alien Bartending School. They know that eventually the humans are going to want something more complicated than just Disaronno. Orion forbid they blow their cover by not having a backup! So they concoct some quick and easy recipes using the bedrock of their cocktail knowledge: Disaronno on the Rocks.

However, I'm sure there were a lot of hands going up once the concept of "Milk" was introduced.

Then, there's the Cranberry lesson.



"Excuse me? What is the green circle that slices into the glass receptacle at the end? He didn't say anything about a GREEN CIRCLE."

And lastly:



There was much mumbling in the classroom. Where's the pitcher for the lemon? Why did they squeeze that ball of yellow? Couldn't they have done the same for the red of the cranberry and the white of the cattle juice?

(One small alien weeps in the back, still disturbed by the "Origins of Milk".)


I like to think that we have received these transmissions by mistake and a baffled school room of Alien bartenders is watching this:



Our planet is saved.

2 comments:

123 123 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
-j-j- said...

Go away, Sexbots. Aren't there some feminist blogs you can pester?

 
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