Song for a Birthday Tuesday

When I was in High School I had a vivid, almost feverish dream. The look was sort of film reel, from the 60's, but the black and white contrast was razor sharp. A Catskills comedian in horn rim glasses and a plaid jacket stood in a hot spot light. He said, in the rehearsed cadence of a joke:

"I had a friend who owned a hardware store...it's okay, he's HALF OF 70!"

The audience went crazy. I woke up.

Today, I am half of 70.

I'm looking forward to 35. It seems like an interesting number, two prime numbers shoved together in an uneasy partnership. It's got a 5 in it.

(I came to the conclusion yesterday that 5 is my favorite number, with its strong brow and stout body. It's a prime number and part of my birthday date. I always have enjoyed counting by fives. )

34 always seemed to hedge it's bets, you know? "See, I'm still KIND OF in my early thirties, right?" Now there is no looking back. I'm in my Mind-thirties today.

I must say, I am proud of it. Glad to be here.

So, what to choose on such a momentous day? Favorite song ever? Least favorite song?

Since 35 feels like a halfway mark, a looking forward and a looking back...today's song is "Thus Spoke Zarathustra" by Deodato. This is the groovy vibraphone filled (nearly ten minute long) 1973 version.

The original, Also sprach Zarathustra by Richard Strauss was composed in 1896 in response to Friedrich Nietzsche's work of the same name. In 1968 Stanley Kubrick used it as part of 2001: A Space Odyssey, his film adaptation of Arthur C. Clarke's colossal mindbender. Looking back on the use of this piece of music as an response to and instrument in the questionsing of humankind's purpose, I am in complete and total awe.

And in 1973, the year of my birth, Deodato took the first steps into electronic irony by incorporating Strauss' notes into this strange "rebirth of Spinal Tap" jazz fusion release.

Enjoy!




For those who want to hear the beautiful and terrifying (and considerably shorter) original...

Read my palm

Undiscovered Talents

There are plenty of stories out there about a commoner - not unlike ourselves - who one day sits at a piano and writes a symphonic masterpiece. Or creates mind boggling works or art. Or discovers an equation that solves the mysteries of the universe.

I think we are drawn to such anecdotes because they offer the hope that, deep inside, there is some untapped potential. This American Life did a story on something similar - knowing only a little bit about a subject and, for better or worse, trying to use that hair's breadth of knowledge to alert the world to the special genius within.

It is in this spirit that I thought I'd try my hand at something I know almost nothing about: Haiku.

Here's what I know:

5-7-5 syllable scheme.
Some reference to nature.

Behold.

My nephew broke in
and drew on my computer.
Winter approaches.

I feel queasy from
the expired aspirin. Do
I smell burning leaves?

Stranger on the bus,
you smell just like my uncle.
Or a rotting log.

I ran out of lip
gloss. I guess I have to go
buy more Springtime now.

I didn't mean to
break your glass. Tornadoes don't
know where they're going.

Huh. Oh well...I'm sure there's a cancer cure I can whip up with some Glass Plus and vitamin supplements.

Random Thoughts

1. I bought socks yesterday. In my mind I align the purchase of socks (along with the purchase of light bulbs or dental floss) as an adult activity.

Never mind that all the socks I bought were covered in purple stripes.

2. If one were to judge me strictly on my sock collection, I might be mistaken for a second grade teacher who hasn't given up just yet.

3. I opened an umbrella inside today, and my two year old nephew reacted as I thought had brought fire down from the mountain.

Now I'm secretly worried that I've brought bad joo-joo on the house for opening an umbrella indoors...no matter how impressive its presentation was, I'll regret it later if I fall down the stairs, tripped by the unseen hand of Bad Luck.

4. I also secretly believe that if I lie, I will sprout boils or some other Egyptian Plague will be visited upon me.

5. Favorite word this week:

Chimera

Pronunciation:

\kī-ˈmir-ə, kə-\

Function:

noun

Etymology:

Latin chimaera, from Greek chimaira she-goat, chimera; akin to Old Norse gymbr yearling ewe, Greek cheimōn winter

1 acapitalized : a fire-breathing she-monster in Greek mythology having a lion's head, a goat's body, and a serpent's tail b: an imaginary monster compounded of incongruous parts2: an illusion or fabrication of the mind ; especially : an unrealizable dream chimera in my brain, troubles me in my prayer — John Donne

6. Least favorite word this week:

Punt.

No...time...

But this is one of the funniest things I have ever seen.

Song for a Crappy Tuesday

It has been an especially long couple of weeks - the holidays plowing down upon us, classes have ended, shows have closed and more are opening. I'm exhausted.

To top it all off, I have a problem with delayed reaction. The emotional fallout from decisions made over the last 90 days has shown up - it knocks on my door and says:

"Hi! You said if I waited a few months I could stop in and sleep on your couch! So HERE I AM! And looky what I have...(rummages and then yanks out a box from some torn Walgreen's bags) I bought you one of those dancing Coke cans that sings 'Jingle Bell Rock' and calls up unexpectedly painful memories!"

"Oh...wow, heh. Thanks. Thanks a lot, there....you know, now's not a really good ti-" I avoid eye contact.

"You said I could stay on your couch..."

I don't have a couch.

"Um...I didn't mean...uh..."

Emotional Fallout offers a pathetic smile. I know he has no place to go, he's tired and has terrible BO. And he bought me this stupid Coke Can. I stand back, gesturing him inside.

"You can have the bed. I'll take the floor."

Lying in the darkness, beginning to drift off, Mr. Fallout starts singing this aloud...There's no sleep tonight...

This is how I feel today